Life is good

Let's hope spring really is on it's way. I'm getting fed up of the colder weather. I am excited for fresh spring days. I am feeling really happy on the inside at the moment. Life is good and we should all remember that. Even in dark times, there is always a positive. You just have to make sure you search for that to keep you going. 

I booked my flights to New York last week. OMG. I am so excited to go back. If I am being really honest the last time I went it was horrid. This feels like a really hard thing to write about, since I don't think I have ever told anyone. The people I went with made me feel very isolated and alone. It's something I have blocked out for such a long time, but it was awful. I remember coming home and my parents were asking me if I had a good time, and I remember lying to them. I love visiting America, and while I was there that time I made myself go out and enjoy my time there, even though those people were clearly not my friends or even understood me. I guess one of the reasons I love America and love visiting is because I had a real hard time there, and it made me stronger. However life is so different now. I was a kid. A kid that did not know that later in life people would be wanting to be my friend, wanting to spend time with me, enjoying every moment of being friends with me. It wouldn't be just me feeling those things. It wouldn't be one sided. I wouldn't have to fight for people to be friends with me, people would want to be. I don't feel alone anymore. 

All I can say is that those people hurt me, and damaged me inside. I honestly think those people didn't care for me back then, they probably don't even realise how they made me feel. But I am strong and have come out fighting. So this trip to New York is that trip I should have got when I was 16. In July 30 year old me is will having the time of her life with people who will be excited to see me get off that plane, and will be sad to say goodbye.

The Fault in Our Stars bench

It's important to be in love and experience love. I never used to think this, well not until I met someone very special. I mean of course I loved my family and friends, but I had never truly felt love until David. That one special person that makes every dull day bright, makes your heart do little leaps for joy and gives you butterflies, and you smile whenever you see them. 

I read the Fault in our Stars a long time ago. Its a beautiful book by John Green. I decided to finally watch the film before my trip to Amsterdam. Immy said she would take us to the bench, the actual bench from the film. We walked through gorgeous streets in the bright sunshine for ages, until out the corner of my eye I could see it. I could see where Hazel and Augustus had sat. 

The bench had been removed a while ago so they could clean it up. However I was happy to see such cute messages written all over the bench. Lots of people have left their heart on that bench. It was a beautiful day with the sun shining down. Perfect way to spend an afternoon. Thinking about life and the people you have in it. Life is to be treasured, enjoyed and lived to the full.

crazy stuff

Ok, i don't really know how to start this post...other than, Lina came to stay. And i had the best two weeks of my life. i had to much fun, and Lina is simply wonderful. we did so many things...i am sure Lina will sum it all up alot better than i will. we went to so many places, she met many of my friends, eat such amazing food, watched movies together, shopped together, drank millions of cups of tea together, she met my family, we went to Paris, and just talked. in other news, we had our giant skype session last night, or this morning for me, for the SEATTLE DREAM OF DREAMS AND WONDER...as Maggie as called it. it was insane. i can't believe its actually gonna happen this year. mega-ultra excited, and talking to everyone last night just made me even more excited if that possible. the only problem now is, i feel like we should be having another chat today. haha...oh, as i am typing this, i just looked out the window, and the sky is beautiful. just thought you might like to know.