Thursday, 13 March 2014

Seeing you again

Working in retail is a up and down journey. Currently finally home after my shift today. Sitting down with a super nice cup of tea. In retail you end up seeing so many people you know from years ago, even more so when you live in a small town. Today someone who used to bully me in school was yelling at one of my colleges and my manager. For a tiny moment I flashed back into school. That girl made my life hell, she made me feel so small, and worthless. Then after that tiny flashback, I just stood there and smiled. She is worthless to me. Maybe she did make my life hell, but my life now is wonderful. I am happy. She clearly isn't. 
I think the problem is when I was at school I was quiet. Being quiet in class meant you were classed as super clever. Which I still don't understand. That feeling of dread about going to school in the morning, that feeling you have knots in your stomach, that feeling just waiting to see that person, it's awful. 
However, I am strong. I know that. I am happy. I have wonderful friends and family in my life that love me for me. I can be myself now without worrying. My friends celebrate the things I like, my interests, my personality. It's ok to like the things I like. I do think that's something you do take a while to realise. It's taken a few years, but I am happy to be me. When I left school and went to art college I realised it's ok to be different. You don't have to be like everyone else. Art college helped me be the real me. Going to college and seeing everyone's bright personalities out there, meeting new people that could get to know the real you. College was back in 2006, so since then, I have felt better about life. Having my friends Charlotte and Mandy with me, my best friends who always liked me for who I am. Then going to university and meeting friends that will be my friends for the rest of my life, being creative, expressing myself, being me. Meeting all my wonderful friends on the internet. Flying to another country and spending time with my wonderful blogger family, and the fact they like me, the real me. Taking me, the person I am, and excepting me. Meeting my twitter friends with the same love for conventions and Joss Whedon. 
Life is crazy, my life has been crazy. I have wonderful people in my life. Some are close to me, and some are far far away, but they will always be close in my heart. I wasn't sure about this post, but I needed to get all this out, and blogging is the only way that seemed right. I am a strong person called Nicola who is happy to be Nicola.


lina said...

oh nicola. i love you! this made me so happy. imagine if i never sent you those "hello my name is" badges?? haha crazy! i want to say thank you for being one of my close friends : )
you go, you strong lady!

Maggie Shirley said...

You are so wonderful. This post made me so happy.

Anonymous said...

This is such a lovely post. It's nice to be able to look back and realise that things do get better. Helps when things are a bit sucky! x

Lizzie said...

I really loved reading this, it felt ultra personal. I feel like I can relate.

Thanks for being awesome!

Becky. said...

You are an incredible person! Don't ever forget that.

Immy Verdonschot said...

You are amazing! It's awesome that you opened up like that and I hope you know just how wonderful you are. I've only known you for a couple of years and I knew it the second I met you ;-). It's so good to read about how happy you are, cos you totally deserve it. Luv you hunni! xoxo